Bon Voyage!

She was there
Saying all the things I
Loved to hear but dropping
Him
And him
and him
And those that
Scamper underfoot

She was there
Her skin
Eyes
All of the things I
Wanted

Right there

Right

There

I told her
Reach for the happy
Hammered it because
Fuck
I want her to have it
Because
Fuck
She doesn’t have it now.

I said I thought she was
Kind of fantastic
Looked at her with my blues

She said she loved me

I said I loved her too

Every muscled screamed
Right from the soul of me.
A great goddamn mouth opened up
At the core of me
And howled for
Her

But I couldn’t do it
Couldn’t lean over and
Steal a kiss

She isn’t his
She isn’t fucking
Property
But she isn’t worth
Ruining the person I am
In the arms of betrayal.

So now I’m alone
She’s gone and I’m
Left scribbled a fucking poem
Instead of maybe fucking a woman
That I love.

What's Up Chuck?

Bukowski I read your words
And they echo through me,
Vibrate my bones and chatter in my teeth.
I have to fight channeling
Your voice in my own
But sometimes I really don't
Want to at all.

You were a magnificent
Scumbag.
For all your drinking
Fucking fighting
And staring at the ceiling
During hung mornings,
You echoed the emptiness
In all of us
That most of us
Just won't admit.

I wonder what it'd sound like...

I think of you when
everything else is still and silent
and I've nothing else left to
Distract me.

I wonder if you know.
Of couse you do. I am a boar, I
feel with my sleeves and scream from
mountain tops.

Just the same I imagine
The words, the speech- finally saying
something, anything at all to you that
actually matters.

I can't actually remember
what your perfume smells like or if
you actually wear any but like your reaction I
Imagine it.

You in my arms, the words
Whispered under breathe, my lips
matched to your thin lips, my arms around your
thin waist.

What an image.

But I am silent, the lessons taught
By her spinning and becoming nothing
More than ash have not been learned and I am
A coward.

Type type type and
Tell me more.
Tell me more.

I

I am
I simply am, as I float here wherein,
The hours have once again ran away from me and
the only proof of me for my eyes,
Is the illuminated movements of pale stubby fingers across
Keys as these words appear before me to answer
That calling I had and the word prompt that never
Fucks off in my head.

I am
I simply am as wind runs
Through my nostrils and tickles me.
The hair that is much too long
In there is rustled and dances.
I reach in, yank and check for length. (Charmed yet?)
The wind outside my window rocks
A dying tree and the lightning crashes-
Flash flash and darkness greater after.

I am
I simply am as I see my mother cry and
She curses and weeps and yearns to
Pass all that has been heckling her.
The needs she feels and the hugs
and the hugs and I realize that
I can do nothing to help how she feels that
She isn't the woman she used to be.

She still is, and I hope to hell she realizes it.

I am
I simply am naked desire.
There is no thought in it and
I am lacking for direction.
I merely want. I want you I want her and
I still want her and all the other things that cannot
ever be. Sighed apologies and excuses and excuses
The screeching of tires and time ticking
Through my teeth,
I need and I crave and wish to
Tear life apart and shove it and every other
burnt and bloody bit down my throat.

I am
I simply am when we fuck and I am
inches from your face and I can
taste your sweat on the air
but you are a hundred miles away from me
even as I am inside of you.
I want to push in further than paltry inches
and collapse into your body or push you into mine
But there is nothing to be done for it
and even as we are so close and as
intimate as can be
We are still alone
We are always alone
and there is nothing to be done for it.

I am
I simply am.

She's Across the Table

He's a force of nature
Barely contained by black leather and
Dripping in just enough detached
Apathy for everything she's saying.
He speaks calmly,
Flatly,
With the slightest curl of a
Sideways smirk.
On measured beats he barks
Some joke or sass and they always
Laugh
And laugh and he
Takes another ever so slight sip.

They leave together and he
Leads her around in the cool
Evening air as he bellows enough
Steamed words about something that
Burns in him as
He decides
When and where the encounter
Will end.

He doesn't,
Sit in the corner
Slouched and staring anxiously
Into the amber of his single malt.
There is no squeaking
Uneven and awkward interuption.
No injection of deadening awkward
Jokes that are far
Far too obscure for any sort of
Good taste.

But he does laugh,
He always laughs,
Even when he's the only one
Who does.

Then inevitably he,
Takes another sip,
Sniffs,
Shoots and
Sighs.
So subltly looks up to see
If anyone noticed.
Waves down the waitress and
Orders another because
When the world spins,
And the words slur
He is finally excused from speaking.

Carpe Diem

I take another step as my ankle
Deformed, screams up my leg and
Into my back.
The world is comfortable with itself
But I am antagonistic.
Caustic
And crawling in my own skin.
There is a fat woman
Seventy five pounds to jiggle
Jogging
As I see her she is wearing a too tight t-shirt
Black and with white writing that
Stripes "CARPE DIEM" across her tits,
Both of which are quite a bit larger than my head.

What an upbeat sentiment
To go up and down
Up and down
Down and up
And up and down
I've walked past her now
Trying my best not to stare.

Oh and now a couple cross country skiing
On the side walk.
And they have all the poles, finery and layers but
Without any snow at all.

Why
Why
Why.

WHY.

Wellwishing

The wolves howl outside
And I, in here.

Its the dead of morning.
The red eye stutter brained moments
Wherein I would sleep,
But for the thoughts of you.

You are,
Or I hope you are
Lounging magnificently
Drool or no,

Or no-
You are beautiful and
At peace,
Without the demons and
Blistery things prodding.

I hope you are.

I think the only thing,
More important to me
Than for me to make you
Happy and at peace,
Is that,

Regardless of it all,
You are happy,
And at peace.

I think I want just
One of us,
To be so.

Cheers girly and,
Your,
Slow smile.