Thursday, December 23, 2010

For the Love I'll Never Touch

It's been a year now
Only wanting for a few days.
And I want for those days with you.

But the days that I have
Are only made up of
Paltry hours in which I fear,
That while I still breathe,
I'll accomplish things that will
Amount to less than useless
Especially when compared with
What you could do with them.

I can't believe
Its been a year since,
You spun out
Became broken
Faded.
Then maybe,I sometimes think
That when your cousin told me
In silent typed words that
I became less vital.
In an instant more pale
Than you.

I remember drunkenly wailing
That I'd never grow from this
I refused to-
Would never build myself
On a foundation
Of my grief for you.

I recall meeting your friends.
Some of them,
Not all of them of course
You knew far too many people.
I really don't know how you
Remembered their names.
Maybe you didn't
Pretty girl like you-
Maybe they didn't care
Or notice
That you never used
Their proper nouns
When you spoke to them
Only cared
That you did, speak to them.

And of course your friends,
The ones I met
Are nice people, rather
Reasonable and kind
But they aren't you
And I'm not sure if
I'd ever want anyone
To be you.

Because right now my dear
You are ash.
I take some comfort
In knowing that,
Because your beauty can
Never wilt
And losing you, I fear
Has made me wither
At the edges.

Just the same
In a few days,
I'll raise a drink or three for you
Raise it high and it'll be
Something good, I promise.

You know I never told you but I
Loved you
More than I should have
More than was smart
Hell,
More than you probably would have liked.

Just the same,
Here's looking at you
You fucking magnificent giant.

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