I

I am
I simply am, as I float here wherein,
The hours have once again ran away from me and
the only proof of me for my eyes,
Is the illuminated movements of pale stubby fingers across
Keys as these words appear before me to answer
That calling I had and the word prompt that never
Fucks off in my head.

I am
I simply am as wind runs
Through my nostrils and tickles me.
The hair that is much too long
In there is rustled and dances.
I reach in, yank and check for length. (Charmed yet?)
The wind outside my window rocks
A dying tree and the lightning crashes-
Flash flash and darkness greater after.

I am
I simply am as I see my mother cry and
She curses and weeps and yearns to
Pass all that has been heckling her.
The needs she feels and the hugs
and the hugs and I realize that
I can do nothing to help how she feels that
She isn't the woman she used to be.

She still is, and I hope to hell she realizes it.

I am
I simply am naked desire.
There is no thought in it and
I am lacking for direction.
I merely want. I want you I want her and
I still want her and all the other things that cannot
ever be. Sighed apologies and excuses and excuses
The screeching of tires and time ticking
Through my teeth,
I need and I crave and wish to
Tear life apart and shove it and every other
burnt and bloody bit down my throat.

I am
I simply am when we fuck and I am
inches from your face and I can
taste your sweat on the air
but you are a hundred miles away from me
even as I am inside of you.
I want to push in further than paltry inches
and collapse into your body or push you into mine
But there is nothing to be done for it
and even as we are so close and as
intimate as can be
We are still alone
We are always alone
and there is nothing to be done for it.

I am
I simply am.