Bam!

I moved in,
She moved off
To the side
In a jerk.

The rest of the evening
Was very nice
I look forward
To seeing her again,
But

There is something to be said
In that there really is,
More regret
In not making the attempt.

Now I think
I'm going to do
The dignified thing
And move off to the side,
In a jerk
Or maybe two.

Match

Was thinking of something
To etch, into my body
Something
Didn’t have to be profound
But I’d have to be able to stand it
For however long I’m kicking.

My brain got locked
Kept me awake
On a lit match
Standing straight up
Maybe facing outwards on my right arm.
Blocky shading
Monochrome,
Something simple.

Figured maybe it’d be an apt metaphor
That I could wear while I breathe
And the picture,
Like reality
Would turn to ash once I’m gone.

But the light it cries out
While consuming
As it falls
As we fall
Through an expanding darkness
Is never extinguished,
Even long after it
Like this idea
Is dust on your window.

Which makes me wonder
How long the light I burn
From consuming,
Will continue as I fall
As it falls,
We all fall
Through this expanding darkness
And I am dust on your window.

Spinning

I think I'm far too comfortable
Sitting in this office chair,
Spinning occasionally
When nothing demands my attention.
Living on a setup of wheels
Ballbearings and pneumatics.

I can look up at my ceiling
A few feet above my head
A stucco ceiling
And imagine the girl who lives
Within a few feet of me,
I've never met her.

I'm not sure I will.

She lives above me
In an apartment with ceilings
Quite a few feet higher than mine
I'm sure.

She can spin as her music plays
At a rather polite volume, I must say.
She can twirl, and I'd wager
She probably looks great as she dances
But when she turns her head upwards
Maybe we're spinning in unison.

I'm sure its probably just me,
Elsewise my story sense is taking over
Because no one else thinks about this shit
Really, I'm sure,
But maybe
Maybe we're both pondering the stars
As we spin
And they spin
On a world that spins
Around a star that spins
Several hundred kilometers
Per second faster
Than either of our minds can fathom.

Maybe we'll ponder
The speed we're moving
As we whip around that
Angry inch of heat in the sky
That is so large
That it juggernaughts your imagination
Simply at the attempt to concieve of it.

So you can understand why
I don't even want to risk
Imagining the velocity
Our solar system is moving
As it sails around the galaxy.

You know,
Unless she is fantastically nerdy
I doubt she knows this
But I do,
Reality is expanding.

Space itself, is expanding
Always has been,
The space between everything
Is getting larger
Bit by bit
And its happening everywhere

The implication is
loneliness.
An empty sky
So large with
Spaces so large
That light will never bounce
And tell stories.

So maybe I should introduce myself,
While I can
Get to know her
While I can
But I probably won't.

Screams

Tear the air apart
Vibrations to rock and rip
Silence asunder

Impassioned with noise
Pushed past my breaking point
Spit passion to wind.

So fuck the quiet
And your meek mannerisms
Break it with my screams.

Sweat

I don't know how universal it is,
But I feel
the most alive
When I've pushed myself half to death,
And the sweat
That pours off my brow
Is likely the last that I have.

Its a passion play

When my muscles scream promised pain
And I feel them tearing
So visceral
That I can imagine the
Sanguinary torrents
Flowing inside me.

Everytime
My heart is ripped
Bloody from my ribs
And I become a weepy
Pathetic lump
Lacking for self respect,
For some reason
The instinct to grab life
And squeeze it,
Break it and
Crush it,
So that I can consume what comes out
Cries out in my mind.

I really can't wait,
For the next time I'm hip deep,
In shit,
At some new existential nonsense.
And I have to reconcile
Some horrendous personality flaw
Or logical contradiction
So grievous
That the framework of who I am
Tumbles down once again

So when it hits the floor
I can stare up
And build to even loftier heights

I like when the sweat gets in my eyes.
When the salty sting promises
More punishment to come,
Any affirmation that reacts in water
Reminds me to breathe.

Because sometimes,
When I'm bored
I forget.